Tragedy struck the canine member of our family last week.  Ear hematoma.  Ever heard of that?  Me neither.  They say it’s somewhat common for dogs with big ears.  Seems as though evolution taught dogs to scratch their ears by violently shaking their heads back and forth.  Oh, if they only had more dexterity in their little paws.  If they shake their head violently enough they can break a blood vessel in their ear, causing their ear flap in inflate like a whoopie cushion.

A full day at the vet and a surgery that cost the likes of Rhett’s college fund later, I walked out with a baby on my hip and a completely drunk 90 lb. lab with a giant cone of shame and a bandage wrapped all the way around her head.  I avoided eye contact as I picked up the front half of my intoxicated beast into the backseat, followed by the back half.

She was pretty pitiful that evening, but we couldn’t resist capturing the hilarity on camera.  To save yourself the humilation and the bucks, clean your doggies ears well and watch out for aggressive shaking.

Bagby and Rhett are not all that unlike each other, we’ve decided.

Both sleep more than half the day.
Both are fed by larger humans that have a slightly higher level of hand control.
Both have their, uh, waste cleaned for them.
Neither have much regard for licking others.
Both like to put anything in their mouths.
Both love attention.
Both like their backs scratched.
Both love their (respective) beds.
Neither communicate in English.
Both use all fours to move.  (Although the idea of Bagby moving on two legs is hilarious)

And it’s a good thing they have so much in common, because they l-o-v-e each other.

Today, we celebrate the fifth birthday of our brown beast, Bagby.  There’s really no other dog like her.  She’s terrified of the vacuum cleaner, but a real hero with the weedeater.  She has a pretty ferocious bark, but I have the sneaky suspicion she might tell a robber where the key to our safe was (if we had a safe).  Her weight fluctuates with every season.  And if you’ve never seen a 90 lb. dog tuck their butt and run back and forth, you are missing out on one of life’s greatest joys.

In dog years, she’s now surpassed all of us in age.  So, on this 25th day of May, we salute our elder.  Happy birthday, Bags.  We love you!